Saturday, January 12, 2013

How To Walk Your Dog In The Rain

So, I have this pit bull named Zoe. She's going to be 7 years old this spring. Those of you who know me know she is my life. We have been partners in crime since she was a little obnoxious puppy who drove everyone around her to madness with her overflowing energy. Some might say we are a little alike. Zoe is much more well behaved now, though she is still infused with the energy of a pup. If it wasn't for her little gray chin she would still be mistaken for a puppy. Some still believe she is a very young pup, I explain to her that this is because she is so immature. When I lecture her on the matter of her lack of maturity, this is the look she gives me while doing her best human sit:

The only problem with Zoe, if you can call it a problem, is that she poops a lot. If this dog doesn't go 4 times during the day she is unhappy, and sometimes it is 5 or 6 if you take her on a long enough walk. The dog's a pooper. 

So how do you deal with a pooper when it is raining? Put your hood up and your head down and mutter "go potty" under your breath until the dog takes the hint. At least when it's raining she walks around a bit faster, but she also tries to go in before pooping, like I'm stupid. She thinks I can't tell when she needs to go. I know her too well and I make her stay out until she has gone. She is a short haired dog, I can see when she needs to poop.  It isn't pleasant, but you can see the butt hole sticking out. You can't fool me Zoe Monster. So I inform her that I know the truth, the butt hole never lies. Sorry Zoe. 

Last night we walked in the rain together spotting out the perfect squatting terrain. Every once in awhile she'd shake the rain off and stare back at me like "Really?" 

I'd stare back "yes, really. I can see your butt!" She'd walk a bit further and stare at the weeds on the side of the walkway, she usually likes to go in some sort of plant life. She's modest. But today she looks at them, takes a hesitant step in then backs out and looks at me again. 

"It's wet and cold and kind of slimy." Her eyes say. "I swear I'm good, I pooped this morning." 

"Zoe go potty!" I say and I look up at the sky. The rain is cold and without mercy as if to say 'cats just use a litter box ya know...stupid dog lover' Yes I know this, but they don't play fetch or swim with you. I'm explaining this to the sky in my head, arguing with the weather.  "Zoe, potty potty potty potty, go potty." She sighs and tip toes into the brush. Finally a poop. I pray that is it for the night and we sprint back to the apartment. As we step inside both shaking the rain off I remember that was only her third poop for the day... "Crap." But it is warm and dry inside and I decide to just wait until the mood strikes her again. I swear she has a quota for herself to make each day. And yes I've tried other foods, she has a sensitive stomach and the food I have her on is the only one that works. So we just deal with it. I think this is why she has always stayed so thin. Now when I look at her and her lean muscled physique I wish I'd poop 5 times a day. OK enough about poop. 

Once we get inside she immediately goes to her water bowl and slurps down the entire thing. Did I mention she also goes through about 5 or 6 bowls of water a day too? So even if she didn't have to poop again, she will surely now have to pee again. She has also done this since she was young. The only difference is that when she was a puppy she didn't drink it as much as she stuck her entire head in and blew bubbles until the water was everywhere but in her stomach. She is a delicate flower that pit bull of mine. 


Sorry about the poop talk, I had to write about something, I haven't worked out since we got home from snowboarding. My body was done in by the mountain, and apparently so was my brain. Tomorrow, I promise some good old fashion Triathlon talk. I will stop getting my inspiration from my walks with the dog. Just be happy I didn't take a picture... of her poop.


  1. Gotta be a fellow dog owner to love this post! My dogs love trying to come inside before doing their business. I would never try to walk them in the rain though because they would be dead weight. Besides, the one is a furry mess,'and I don't want to dry that.

    1. I knew fellow dog lovers would get this!!!

  2. Ok, that was so awesome I am praying for rain so I can go walk the dogs. Mine poop and pee on pads. I love your writing.